Thursday, March 12, 2009

How to make a Cute Face

Difficulty: Easy

Warm Up Your Face
Step1 : Stretch all the muscles in your face. You don't want to pull a temporalis muscle at a critical moment of Cute Face.
Step2 : Vigorously rub your cheeks with the palms of your hands. This increases blood flow, and gives you a nice natural blush as a base for your maneuvers. If you are especially fair skinned, you may want to skip this step. It might do more harm to your cause than good.
Step3 : Slowly rotate your head side to side, stretching out your neck. The face muscles get all of the glory, but without the neck you wouldn't be able to look your audience in the eyes.

Now the Cute Face
Step1 : Pull the corners of your mouth down slightly while still smiling. Be careful not to pull them down too far, unless you are going for the Pouty Cute Face.
Step2 : Tilt your head to either side, and slightly down. This will cause even more cuteness.
Step3 : Open your eyes wide, face your target and say "ple-e-e-ase?" or something similarly cute. Be careful not to whine, because that kills the whole maneuver.
Step4 : Bat your eyelashes a few times. This will bring down the house.

Tips & Warnings

* Practice in front of a mirror. It takes time to develop a cuteness against which resistance is futile.
* You know what cute is. If you think you're cute, than you are cute. Use the power within.
* Some people have developed such unprecedented levels of cuteness that they inspire stalkers. Be careful who you use your power on.
* Cuteness has been determined to fade over time. Peak cuteness is generally somewhere around 5 years old, but can extend well into a person's retirement.

(Found this hilarious bit of information while trying to locate my 'dead' blog, so why not mirror it)