Friday, November 30, 2007

Age of Innocence

I can't be compromising in my thoughts no more
I can't prevent the times my anger fills my heart
I can't be sympathizing with a new lost cause
I feel I've lost my patience with the world and all.

So we only get one chance can we take it
And we only get one life can't exchange it
Can we hold on to what we have don't replace it
The age of innocence is fading..... Like an old dream.

The age of innocence is fading..... Like an old dream.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

A Horse's Ass, Word of Mouth!

For those who prefer to hear than read!

Horse's Ass

Does the expression, "We've always done it that way!" ring any bells? The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That is an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that is the way they built them in England, and Irish & English expatriates built the US railroads. Why did the English build them like that?

Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre railroad tramways, and that is the gauge they used. Why did "they" use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used the same wheel spacing.

Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts. So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for (or by) Imperial Rome, they all had the same wheel spacing. The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specification for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Specifications and bureaucracies live forever. So the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you may be exactly right.

This is because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war-horses.

Now, the twist to the story... There is an interesting extension to the story about railroad gauges and horses' behinds. When we see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. "Thiokol" makes the SRBs at their factory at Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track is about as wide as two horse's behinds. So, a major design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass.

Some simple inferences:
1. There seems to be more than one kind of ass that a man thinks about.
2. Man dedicates a lot to what he likes.

Subservient Chicken

One of the Burger King Gigs!!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Moron Forever... ummu.... Forever Moron??

English is a weird language. Word plays, twists and turns, doesn't ever make things any bit simpler. The title of this post may seem interesting to some or may be just plain moronic or better still, may appreciated by some who are English enthusiasts or readers who prefer to read right to left rather than the convention left to right. But to simply say, my point of this whole blog entry is about clarifying the meaning of two words- Moron and Forever.

Starting off with forever, have you ever wondered why someone uses the word 'forever' ? Never really did it bother me until today when this question sprang up.

First things first. Taxing my little git brain, I found out the standard Webster's dictionary meaning of the word forever, and quoting the same, "for a limitless time" or say "for eternity". A very entertaining concept indeed.

Being a science student, I understand that things have definite time, long or short, nothing can continue endlessly, may be not even time itself. In such a case, the usage of the word by an engineer would seem totally ridiculous unless there is a hidden meaning in this. So off we go hunting for it.

But common, what possible meaning can a simple seven letter word consisting of one f, two e's, a v, an o and 2 (two/too) Rs contain?

As good as my brain is messed up with my Linguistics and Natural Language processing course( I just scraped through of course), so is it with AI(dammit!! I still have to give the exam). So what comes to my mind at this point is Hidden Markov Models. (I am sorry for the shit I have been writing, I deserve to get kicked and I shall gleefully accept the same. Kindly bear with me). Given that a normal human being has no time or the intelligence to comprehend so many 'not so ordinary' things all at once and to think on his or her feet at the same time, it can be safely ruled out that no academic inclination or influence in whatsoever form could be the motivation for the usage of the word.

Assuming this for now, lets construct one more possible hypothesis. Forever means to last indefinitely and knowing that it can't be, one can just hope for it to last for as long as possible. Now this is quite plausible, if the object of interest is quite dear to one's heart and you are not willing to let go of it, atleast for the moment. For if such were really the case, then I would just term the case lovely and the interest object to be pure, pristine and immortal (paradoxical it seems, eh?). You sit and simply smile, for that is all I am able to do now, can't express it in any other words.

Or, if 'ever' was the name of a beautiful chic (this is just me talking), I could probably keep saying forever, forever. Hope that is the case but seems very unlikely unless she is, she is really, some weird chic from some weird planet and been banished by the wicked ruler of the land for standing up against him.

Well, well, its enough, too many conspiracy theories spring about in my mind. I keep penning everything down, I am sure to get disoriented and end up in a mad-house. And then I could simply keep saying any word I want, however or whenever I want.

(a break.. a phone call)

Ah! I am bored now. I can't conjure up more shit than this in one go (and by the way, I haven't been eating well for the last couple of days or so.. so :( ) . And going this way I can go on forever you try to make you understand.

Well, in short, simply said, forever means for eTerniTy. Now beat it!! (hidden secret meaning in the tall Ts, figure that one out on your own! )

Lets leave a moron as he is for now. Sometime later then, I will care to shed my thoughts. If you have come so far reading this post, then you must really be a Moron.

And so am I.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Opinions and Onions and Life in general

A mildly-wise man once said, "Opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one". Perhaps this is why everyone is so scared of other people's opinions.
Opinions are like onions.

A flaky outside peels away to a thick sphere of layers.

Some people like theirs cut up to chew in small doses.
Some need theirs cooked and softened...

Some like them grilled
Some can even take them raw.

Some eat them with a knife and fork
Some can eat them bare handed

The stronger ones will make you cry
leave a bitter taste in your mouth.

Some love them, some hate them.

Some just eat around them...

Some just bite right through.

By the way, I am not giving any opinions over here and even if I was, I don't ever think that you need to agree with my opinion. :P
Yet, I do need to know your opinions. And also, its not all about onions.

Now there, opinions in general should affect life but yeah that is just my opinion. Still, there is this one thing, onions do represent life in some forms.
You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.

In the Green Field

Quartz there
Emeralds to spare
Time to share
Eyes that bare
Lips that dare
Hands that care
Hearts in prayer
Love is on air
Happiness is everywhere.

Saturday, November 24, 2007


Take beer away from me,
if you wish, take anime away, but
do not take from me your laughter.

Laugh at the night,
at the day, at the moon,
laugh at the twisted
streets of this school,
laugh at this clumsy boy.

But when I open
my eyes and close them,
When my steps go,
when my steps return,
Deny me beer, anime, ketch-up,
but never your laughter
For ...... (smiles).

Big deal!

Deal with the difficult, while it is yet easy.
And the great, while it is yet small.
Difficult sprouts from the easy.
And the great, from the small.
So by dealing with the small,
You achieve the great.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Thermal Machinery course

I am not a regular student to class, so happen to miss a lot of lectures and only on the night of the end semester exam, I open the class notes to study. Today is no exception to that but yeah there is something special, I must say very insightful knowledge (its the Mech department, if you know what I mean), I came across while studying gas cycles, "Introduction to Thermal Machinery" course.
Here it is ..

Ahem! Ahem!

IIT, the place to be ??

... but you are..

(Beer Mug it should be dammit!!)

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

I dream

From an dreamer's perspective:

I am a dreamer
I want a dreamer
I will be a dreamer

A dreamer is a dream
Like a leaf in the breeze,
Seeking a path,
Wondering like a star.

A dream is a dream,
Nothings too much an ask.

From a pessimist's perspective:
As long as there is hope,
Futile battle can be won
Fictional ideas are spun.

A dream is a dream,
Its too much sun to bask.

From an optimist's perspective:
Guided by the wings of belief,
The journey never too long,
Nor the path too rough.

The starlit sky,
a whole new world,
Another place or just time.

A dream is a dream,
Nothings too much an ask.

From a realist's perspective:
It rains silent drops,
I see beautiful things,
Yet curtail my wings.

Running away from the world
Living in another reality,
I try to hide from truth.

A dream is a dream,
Get rid of the mask.

But hopes fade.
And dreams fall.
For a dream is a dream.

For an idiot's perspective:
It exists, it does
In one's heart,
One's soul.

Well, for me,
I am a dreamer
I am am a dreamer
I am always a dreamer.

Stupid Sun

Concealed by the clouds, are you able to respire?
Being in your full form, why do you need to retire?
Have we upset you, did we make you sad?
Did any of us, take away something you've had?

Please come out, let me see your beautiful face,
Break the lock, let the clouds embrace.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Orkut Says...

Today's Fortune : "He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals"

I now have no idea what that is supposed to mean!!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Your Smile...

Just to see you smile
I’d do anything
That you wanted me to
And all is said and done
I’d never count the cost
It’s worth all that’s lost
Just to see you smile.

(Its the 21st!!)

Friday, November 16, 2007

Circle of Life

MindReader1 :

End of term is fast approaching and I am beginning to realise (ever so slowly) how much my life seems to go round in cycles of stuff or in cycles of me being taught stuff but unfortunately I am still yet to learn so the circles of my life continue to spin.
I can think I have changed for the better in terms of friendships and my walk with God but so often similar lessons are being shown to me but in new guises.
I wish I were less apathetic and had more desire to break these circles and come closer to God and depend on Him.


From the day we arrive on this planet and, blinking, step into the sun, there's more to see than can ever be seen; more to do than can ever be done. There's far too much to take in here; more to find than can ever be found.
But the sun rolling high, through the amethyst sky. It keeps great and small on the endless round(may be bound). Haha, It's the Circle of Life.
And it moves us all, through despair and hope, through faith and love, till we find our place on the path unwinding in the Circle, the Circle of Life.

The Circle of life,
It's the circle of Life.

(a little less conversation)

Going the Distance

You are my friend,
You still remember the dream
we had that day, don't you?

You are my dream
We'd just gotten started,
you are my long 'lost' friend,

Heeh, it's time to get moving!

Everyday, lit up by the shine ahead,
I wanna see you, it lights my soul on fire
but now, we've bid farewell
to those fun days, to be the future,

I know you are far from over
And that's why I'll dream on!
I'll go the distance!

Gazing at a sky so full
I'm just now starting
I'll use my greatest power, total GiT!

You are my friend,
You still remember the dream
we had that day, don't you?

You are, my friend
You are my friend.

(This is neither prose nor poetry. It is may be a how Japanese ninja, on a secret mission from Konoha, the hidden Leaf village, would write his first essay. But yeah, I find it extremely hilarious to write this way!
One more Descriptor Jappiness!)

Thursday, November 15, 2007


"Nothing in the world can replace persistence. Talent will not; Nothing more common than the unsuccessful man with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derilicts. Persistence and Determination are omnipotent." -- Calvin Coolidge.


Thinking of an age old dream,
Places I have never seen,
Fantasies lived times before.
I split my brain, melt through the floor.

Over clouds my mind will fly,
Forever now I can't think why.
My body tries to leave my soul.
Or is it me, I just don't know.

Memories rising from the past,
The future's shadow overcast.
Somethings clutching at my head,
Through the darkness I'll be led.

Oh another time, another place.
Oh another smile on another face.
When you see me floating up beside you,
You get the feeling that all my love's inside of you.

Please take me away, take me away, so far away.
Please take me away, take me away, so far away.
Please take me away, take me away, so far away.

(Lyrics of the song by the same name by Iron Maiden)

Monday, November 12, 2007

I am sooo screwed!!

Goddammittt!!! I have two project submissions, one class notes submissions, two presentations/seminars and two endsems all in the next four days!!
Seems like my diwali has just kick started.....

Sunday, November 11, 2007


Somethings just can't change...

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Friday, November 9, 2007

The Bombay Bitch

Seriously bitching is so much fun and so much soothing. May the God save the bitches.
No wonder bitches go to hell.

"I think, therefore I bitch" (may be also, "I am, therefore I bitch")

Fun page to watch when you feel like bitching:

Happy Diwali!!

And the trivial, I just got a message, I am just re typing all of it.

Pleasure in your heart
Success in your life
Fragrance of love at home
May all these be yours forever

Happy diwali!!

Diwali Break Episode 3: Pollution

Well, that I have just yakketed so much, I am so totally not bored now. Crap! I would seriously love to write more shit, but that ain't going to happen.

1. I hate missing burst crackers.
2. I hate missing running the house with lamps.
3. I hate missing mom and dad yelling me.
4. I hate missing troubling my bro (mostly its the other way)
5. I hate missing food - festival food, mumma's food.
6. I hate missing the sweets.
7. I hate missing arbit uncles and aunties who show up randomly; with really sad sense of humor trying to say how fat I had become since the last time they saw me.

Diwali Break Episode 2: I am Alone!!

Continuing from last time.....

To make matter worse, there is no one in the wing.
Better still, not many happy-to-hang-out people left on campus either which puts my random mind off and makes me go right down to the abyss of boredom.
All the 'devas' and the 'devis' of my life are home. Thank you very much.

Only one old friend remained. I had not really spoken to him at all this whole semester much. By talk I mean more than academics. It was like destiny had brought together and decided to teach me a few lessons in life. As things turned out, my day was basically loads of sleep, and then two hindi movies, some chicken and wine, phone calls and messages and lots more sleep again.

Briefly talking about each of them, first the sleep. Whoa! Sleep is so 'aweso'. The best thing about sleep you know is that it is the only activity where you have to constrain yourself to absolutely doing nothing and still gain pleasure at the end of it. Well, a more adventurous or rather restless man would do things to just spice it up a little bit. But the bottom line is, sleep is a cool tireless(mostly) activity. A callous man's best fun indeed!!
Do nothing at all and sleep.
One more thing I noticed about sleep is, It does not follow the basic laws of nature which is that the more you have, the less you want. The inherent trade off between quality and quantity doesn't exist here at all. It is in fact a classic example to disprove this economic concept. One more in support of the already disproved Lamarck's theory - "The more you use, the bigger it gets. You forget, it shrinks." I seriously believed this when I was in school and wondered about its consequences. Apparently, its all a bunch of bullshit but sleep is exceptional. It cares no shit about evolution or science. Any more I talk about this now, I will seriously go fall asleep.

So yeah moving on, hindi movies. Yeww.. . why why would you want to spoil a wednesday or thursday afternoon watching such a thing. Ridiculous. There is no incentive . No 'chic' even accompanying you, so that you could grab her hand when the really scary villain sneaks on the hero, or gently touch when the happy couple go dancing around trees or worse even, no shoulders to pretend to cry/ shed crocodile tears when the somebody dies at the some point in the movie. Worse even, no 'pop corn' too. The list is endless. I don't want to embarrass myself saying that I was overwhelmed watching Amitabh Bachchan in tango with Shashi Kapoor (there were Zeenat Aman and Hema Malini, of course. I was not that gay also). Forget it.

Aha, now the best part. The chicken. "Mate, chics may desert you, but never the chickens." Yep, yep!! True indeed. KFC my saviour. One bucket full! Then the wine. Perfect! (In between, I played delivery boy, but thats ok). In this extremely fascinating surrounding, two losers, Tom and Harry sitting, what else can you expect!!. They gossiped like 16 year old girls, like there was no tomorrow. Apparently, sensible things, old grown up talk, fundaes in life and all. Common beat it! Half drunken, truck load of bull crap said. Added it my knowledge base of course it did, but still who really gives a 'duck' about pressure vessels, y-knots, 'I will not drink anymore', 'I really now know how I feel', 'We are not still Tom and Harry, we have graduated".

Last, of the menu, messages and calls. There were honestly the only memorable parts of the whole two days. Nothing I have to crib. Only thing is that people can be so evil that when you cry to them that you are bored, they go the extent of making an itinerary for you(how generous of them it seems, very hearty friends one may think) which goes something like this.

1. Match dekh.
2. Footer khel.
3. Bhag.
4. Swim.
5. Paint.
6. Iron.
7. Go to elephanta caves
8. Marine drive for diwali
9. Super eat and Mama Mia's
10. Get drunk at Leopolds
11. Better still, ask a firang chic out.

Its for you people to decide. I just zzzzZZZZZZZZ........

Diwali Break Episode 1: Me, Myself and My project

Its been three days now and I am bored to the heights of insanity right now. Its not without reason that I decided to stay back and spend my 'happy' diwali days living the life of a jackass!

Its rather that, I may have been over conscious about the work I have on hand, or may be I have just been pretending to be overly sincere. Well, there is this course and this project all due on Monday, substantial weightage on the project work and I hadn't really started working on it until a couple of days back. So just before the holidays, the heap or the hype about this supposedly unsurmountable project got built up; thanks to my co-project workers. In either case, the fact of the matter is that I am left stranded in insti.

I think now is the opportune moment to dedicate a piece of my blog space to each of these characters. The first of which is the prime responsible(infinitely nabdu himself and spreads nabad with ease and pretty effectively too). He tries and tries and tries. No results. He is like this tortoise running on a treadmill and farting every other second so hard, that it literally pumps the rest to take some action, any action. God Bless.

The second is just not interested. He is the kind which says, " Yeah this is teamwork. There are four in a team. So one will work and the rest(atleast I) rest in peace. I really don't give a fuck."

Now then, the third. What do I say about him?!!. Intelligent, hard-working, diligent, he was all before the turn of this semester or this particular project assignment. He was very academically oriented even when we made groups. Now he is genuinely occupied and insists, I learn the basics first at my own pace and then I will get to the project. Well, I think he has all life to do this or academics has take him to such a level that he has just found this to be the "Meaning of his life".

I am not trying to say here that I am the only 'sincere' bum or the 'intelligent' one or be any snooty, but it just happened that the onus was on me to do something about this thing. Going by what I am, however cool I portray myself to be, I can feel my prick. And I sometimes can feel the pricks too.

In the best of enthusiasm, I set out on this bon voyage to complete this project, the aim of which is to put up a cloth on the screen as realistically as is possible. Someone made an offhand remark, "Dude, you would have been much more interested or done a betting job with pulling it down not simulating putting it up." Whatever the case is, pun intended or not, I feel like punching him now in the face right till his nose starts to bleed. Hmmmph!!

Given the supremely gifted guy, that I am, I managed to rig up stuff with a day and get done with the project. At that point, I went all "Yaaay!! Yaaay!! Project done. LukkhaMax I be." I hope now that it had not happened. Its not that my project is up to my expectations, I just don't want to do more. It meets the bare minimum constraints. I am just satisfied and I haven't smelt it even in two days now. I may get back to it later tonight. Lets see.

It depends on how well I can cool down!! Ranting helps.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Flying away

Rain rain go away
Come again another day
Little birdie wants to play
Rain rain go away.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Happy Birthday Garfield!



Yearning for her I slept in sadness
And saw her in a dream.
Had I known it was a dream
I never would have woken with the dawn.

(Happiness, pure and untainted. It is real.)

Sunday, November 4, 2007

November rain

You can say, "Today was the exact same as yesterday"
But something has to be different
The things that connect us to tomorrow mean the most

It doesn't matter how slowly life changes,
Everything is etched into my heart.

These are the days to sow the seeds
And the days to give them water

But someday I will see
Our future will be clear to me
These are days so filled with sunshine
And the days of endless rain

But someday I will see
The rainbow colored feature for you and me
All we can do now is look at the path before us,
And continue our slow walk down it...

(I was writing this originally for my brother but I lost myself somewhere it between.)
(For tomorrow, its the walk of life)

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Auguries of Innocence

To see the World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower
Hold Infinity in the palm of you Hand
And Eternity in an hour.

-William Blake

My First Halloween!!

Guess what!!!!
I actually dressed up(rather suited up) for Halloween!! [:P]