Two AMPS in the wing!!
Ecstatic is the feel!
After trying out the the electric guitar yesterday, i realized that I know nothin at all! [:P] I am happy, I have infinite to learn! [:D]
Blissful noise!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Work Guilty
Well, I always keep cribbing that I need to be lukkha, more holidays, more time to do nothing, fun fun and fun!
This is one thing I believed would be a feeling which is insatiable, never let me down or cause a 'give-up'. But it seems now, that this too like all other mundane things in the world follows the contrary. There is no exception in nature or its laws. An overdose of lukkha too can make you feel guilty especially when you have submissions, quizzes and assignments breathing down your neck. More so NABAD, looking at other people who are soo much ahead of you with respect to things, atleast at this moment.
I work(atleast think about) now sincerely for a while. I hope to see some results at the end of today. Only tiny little kit-kat/chit-chat/guitar breaks allowed. I have been feeling sick all morning and suddenly the idea of work drives me happily insane. Strange is the way of the mind.
Man is weird.
Good Advice. Jinx!!
(My camera starts working again...yaaay!!)
This is one thing I believed would be a feeling which is insatiable, never let me down or cause a 'give-up'. But it seems now, that this too like all other mundane things in the world follows the contrary. There is no exception in nature or its laws. An overdose of lukkha too can make you feel guilty especially when you have submissions, quizzes and assignments breathing down your neck. More so NABAD, looking at other people who are soo much ahead of you with respect to things, atleast at this moment.
I work(atleast think about) now sincerely for a while. I hope to see some results at the end of today. Only tiny little kit-kat/chit-chat/guitar breaks allowed. I have been feeling sick all morning and suddenly the idea of work drives me happily insane. Strange is the way of the mind.
Man is weird.
Good Advice. Jinx!!
(My camera starts working again...yaaay!!)
Saturday, October 27, 2007
...In case I dont see ya, good afternoon, good evening and good night!
I look at star.
By go big car.
My mummy is far.
Hardy har har.
Milky bar, give me the power!
Good day to you all.rar
By go big car.
My mummy is far.
Hardy har har.
Milky bar, give me the power!
Good day to you all.rar
Lindt Chocolates
NSL for all its AC and net is still bad.
Reason: One person. The one with an empty Lindt box (well almost empty).
Blah! I soo need to eat chocolate. I am acting like a puppy right now at the sight of Lindt but well dammit! I want it now. Fly me to swiss!!!
(well, person is really nice and generous(all this I am saying before the one reads this blog... I may not survive to see what happens thereafter) and all.... got to eat sweet.. coconut burfi..yaay!! )
Reason: One person. The one with an empty Lindt box (well almost empty).
Blah! I soo need to eat chocolate. I am acting like a puppy right now at the sight of Lindt but well dammit! I want it now. Fly me to swiss!!!
(well, person is really nice and generous(all this I am saying before the one reads this blog... I may not survive to see what happens thereafter) and all.... got to eat sweet.. coconut burfi..yaay!! )
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Simply Flustered
There are things which we want to believe and want others to believe. The lack of it or a deviation for it just gets one "Simply Flustered!". Its is very amusing to notice this. It beats all rationale. It makes one try too hard, in the process giving it away.
A small sign by man, is a very attractive poster for mankind.
A small sign by man, is a very attractive poster for mankind.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Jason Becker - Mr. Tambourine Man
Virtuoso in the truest sense
For those who don't know Jason, here's a humble compilation of his life history I have read about. I will update it in due time.
Here goes... (from his website)
Jason Becker is without a doubt one of the most incredibly talented guitarists and musicians to have appeared since the invention of the electrical guitar. His story is one of the most tragic and inspiring in the world of music and one that receives far too little attention. So without further ado: The History of Jason Becker.
Born on July 22, 1970, Jason was first introduced to the guitar at the age of 5. Both his father (also an artist) and uncle were guitarists from whom he was able learn quite rapidly, becoming an excellent musician at an early age.
Even at a young age we would reportedly practice for over 10 hours a day to the likes of Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck and Eddie Van Halen. He was also heavily influenced by various world music, and like friend and fellow ex-Cacophony band member Marty Friedman, Jason’s compositions often feature exotic and unusual scales. By the time he was in the sixth grade Jason was already playing local coffee houses and school dances.
In high school Jason was introduced to Marty Friedman with whom he shared similar musical tastes and extraordinary musical talent. In 1986 the duo formed speedmetal band Cacophony, releasing their first album (Speed Metal Symphony) in 1987, at the age of only 17. Hailed as a masterpiece, Speed Metal Symphony features some of the most incredible, fast, complex and melodic guitar playing ever recorded. Following the release of a second album in 1988 (Go Off!) which proved a complete commercial failure, Cacophony disbanded.
Also in 1988, Jason released his first solo album, Perpetual Burn, a must-have for any shred guitar fan, full of the aggressive, classical-influenced (Paganini, in particular was a major influence) harmony, counterpoint and sweep picking that is Jason’s signature style.
In 1990, at the age of 20, Jason was offered Steve Vai’s place in the David Lee Roth band. With David Lee Roth he recorded A Little Ain’t Enough, which is largely considered to be David’s best solo album. Jason’s career had never looked better, until disaster struck. What began as a slight weakness in his left leg was soon diagnosed as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), a degenerative nerve disease. His doctored estimated that he had at most 5 years of life left. Although he ignored the diagnosis for quite awhile, taking it as a temporary setback that would soon clear up, by the time recording of the album finished Jason’s ability to play guitar had diminished to the point where he had to depend almost entirely on the tremolo bar for vibrato. At this point, to comfort his friends and family, he just laughed and said "no way, I have things to do and I'm invincible". This was the man who refused to accept things as they came. A fighter, an optimist he is, he made sure he had his way and went to to compose really sweet music thereafter. If already one has heard, The End of a Beginning, simply my favorite, is a must hear.
Now unable to play guitar, Jason moved to his parents’ home. There, he found refuge in spirituality, which helped him come to terms with his condition. He places considerable credit for his prolonged life on Ammachi, his guru and on the teachings of Yogananda, which he follows. Supported by loving friends and family he began to compose through his computer and released an album of original material (played by other musicians), Perspective, in 1996. Since that time his condition has stabilized and two albums of demo-tape material were released, The Raspberry Jams in 1999 and The Blackberry Jams in 2003. There have also been unconfirmed mentions of a movie about his life in the works. To this day, Jason continues to write music out of his home in Glendale, California although currently he is focusing most of his energy on spiritual healing and writing.
Becker’s official site (very informative, lots of content, lots of great articles).
"If you have control over your mind, you can do anything." - Jason Becker
Here goes... (from his website)
Jason Becker is without a doubt one of the most incredibly talented guitarists and musicians to have appeared since the invention of the electrical guitar. His story is one of the most tragic and inspiring in the world of music and one that receives far too little attention. So without further ado: The History of Jason Becker.
Born on July 22, 1970, Jason was first introduced to the guitar at the age of 5. Both his father (also an artist) and uncle were guitarists from whom he was able learn quite rapidly, becoming an excellent musician at an early age.
Even at a young age we would reportedly practice for over 10 hours a day to the likes of Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck and Eddie Van Halen. He was also heavily influenced by various world music, and like friend and fellow ex-Cacophony band member Marty Friedman, Jason’s compositions often feature exotic and unusual scales. By the time he was in the sixth grade Jason was already playing local coffee houses and school dances.
In high school Jason was introduced to Marty Friedman with whom he shared similar musical tastes and extraordinary musical talent. In 1986 the duo formed speedmetal band Cacophony, releasing their first album (Speed Metal Symphony) in 1987, at the age of only 17. Hailed as a masterpiece, Speed Metal Symphony features some of the most incredible, fast, complex and melodic guitar playing ever recorded. Following the release of a second album in 1988 (Go Off!) which proved a complete commercial failure, Cacophony disbanded.
Also in 1988, Jason released his first solo album, Perpetual Burn, a must-have for any shred guitar fan, full of the aggressive, classical-influenced (Paganini, in particular was a major influence) harmony, counterpoint and sweep picking that is Jason’s signature style.
In 1990, at the age of 20, Jason was offered Steve Vai’s place in the David Lee Roth band. With David Lee Roth he recorded A Little Ain’t Enough, which is largely considered to be David’s best solo album. Jason’s career had never looked better, until disaster struck. What began as a slight weakness in his left leg was soon diagnosed as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), a degenerative nerve disease. His doctored estimated that he had at most 5 years of life left. Although he ignored the diagnosis for quite awhile, taking it as a temporary setback that would soon clear up, by the time recording of the album finished Jason’s ability to play guitar had diminished to the point where he had to depend almost entirely on the tremolo bar for vibrato. At this point, to comfort his friends and family, he just laughed and said "no way, I have things to do and I'm invincible". This was the man who refused to accept things as they came. A fighter, an optimist he is, he made sure he had his way and went to to compose really sweet music thereafter. If already one has heard, The End of a Beginning, simply my favorite, is a must hear.
Now unable to play guitar, Jason moved to his parents’ home. There, he found refuge in spirituality, which helped him come to terms with his condition. He places considerable credit for his prolonged life on Ammachi, his guru and on the teachings of Yogananda, which he follows. Supported by loving friends and family he began to compose through his computer and released an album of original material (played by other musicians), Perspective, in 1996. Since that time his condition has stabilized and two albums of demo-tape material were released, The Raspberry Jams in 1999 and The Blackberry Jams in 2003. There have also been unconfirmed mentions of a movie about his life in the works. To this day, Jason continues to write music out of his home in Glendale, California although currently he is focusing most of his energy on spiritual healing and writing.
Becker’s official site (very informative, lots of content, lots of great articles).
"If you have control over your mind, you can do anything." - Jason Becker
Monday, October 22, 2007
Scarlett Prevails!! Hail Ferrari!!
Perfect Night. Scintillating victory for Ferrari and Kimi!!
The force is strong with them.
The force is strong with them.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
The Panic-Stricken Vs The Queen
1. White-White.
2. Curl-Curl.
3. Crack-u!!
4. The Flyers.
5. Red(now)- Black(then)
6. +/-
2. Curl-Curl.
3. Crack-u!!
4. The Flyers.
5. Red(now)- Black(then)
6. +/-
[:P]
Who am I?
I am NOT
whom I claim to be.
I am NOT a fraud…
I am someone,
if you know who I am,
Then I am….
I am someone
Like the wave of sea,
Washed away the sand
Many a times, yet I am
Never done washing them away!
Like the rain,
fell in the ground,
Washed in the river…
Climbed the mountain… and
Fall again like the gentle snow!
I am just me!! [:P]
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Why Me??
Well, well. God made some this way and some that way. That is why.
All that apart, why not? :P
All that apart, why not? :P
Friday, October 19, 2007
The Secrets of Good Times
Hey hey let's go fight!
The important thing is to answer my calls!
I'm bad, so let's fighting...
Let's fighting love!
Let's fighting love!
This song is a little stupid
It's hard to make sense of
Its English is messed up
That's OK! I do it all the time!
Hey hey let's go fight!
The important thing is to answer my calls!
The important thing is to answer my calls!
I'm bad, so let's fighting...
Let's fighting love!
Let's fighting love!
This song is a little stupid
It's hard to make sense of
Its English is messed up
That's OK! I do it all the time!
Hey hey let's go fight!
The important thing is to answer my calls!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Help Yourself
Disclaimer: No suggestions intended. 100% time-pass, for the sheer love of art and cartooning.
P.S : This is what happens after you top the class in a mechanisms course but still end up with a 7 :'(
Mein to Hoon Pagal
main to hu paagal ye kahu har pal
kar koi hulchal hone de hone de
hone de hone de hone de koi deewaangi
ret mein tairna seekh le aur samundar ke upar tahal
been bhainson ke aage baja aur hava mein bana le mahal
suit lohe ka silva le tu aur pairon pe chashma laga
haath mein baandh le vo ghadi jismein ho saadhe terah baja aany
main to huun paagal ...
ped se tod le machhaliya billiyon ko tu gaana sikha
chaand ko kar de chakor tu aur suraj tikona bana
o bina pahiye ki gaadi mein chal bhool ja apne ghar ka pata
le ke haathi ko mutthi mein tu kaibre dekh le uunt ka aany
main to huun paagal ....
(Hillarious!! Don't scold me! I am the Baadshah)
Tears Fall in Silence
A leaf twirled through my window and landed in my hand
my tears fall in silence when a stranger steals my thoughts
so i cast a glance to where my world is
i let my eyes follow the wind
my tears fall in silence when my stranger steals my thoughts
i remember the night when i knew of a love song of rain
my tears fall in silence when my stranger fills my thoughts
and i wonder.....
what would i see when my pain ends?
what would i see when my pain ends?
what would be left of me?
i wonder.....
a raindrop kissed me on my forehead
and my tears fell in silence
and my stranger filled my thoughts
my tears fall in silence
and my stranger.....steals my thoughts
(This song has been written a long time back, in fact it is among one of my first. Sometimes when words could not be said, poetry to oneself is best way. I don't want to spoil the beauty of this by writing more prose here.
This is by the way, of course dedicated to the 'stranger' [:P].
Although this song has a tinge to sadness to it, I insist the piece is innately happy, no way even remotely sad)
Everybody Hurts
When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes
Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone, hold on, hold on
If you feel like letting go, hold on
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on
'Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone
If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on
Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts. You are not alone
(Lyrics of the song with the same name by REM; no particular inspiration, something I liked :))
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes
Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone, hold on, hold on
If you feel like letting go, hold on
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on
'Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone
If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on
Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts. You are not alone
(Lyrics of the song with the same name by REM; no particular inspiration, something I liked :))
Monday, October 15, 2007
Incomplete
Days are short, yet they seem to prolong,
You fail to know, exactly where to belong.
You want to be walking, just another furlong,
In the end however, life's always a ding-dong.
Many a things to be said, so do livelong.
Thinking about these things, I spend nightlong
I will always be staying with you, lifelong
I am hungry now, please feed me a footlong.
(Incomplete in the true sense the above lines are. Work we all have to do. Time will come and I will wright.)
You fail to know, exactly where to belong.
You want to be walking, just another furlong,
In the end however, life's always a ding-dong.
Many a things to be said, so do livelong.
Thinking about these things, I spend nightlong
I will always be staying with you, lifelong
I am hungry now, please feed me a footlong.
(Incomplete in the true sense the above lines are. Work we all have to do. Time will come and I will wright.)
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Little Things
Too often we don't realize
what we have until it is gone;
Too often, we play, we say
"I'm sorry - I was wrong."
Sometimes it seems we hurt the ones
we hold dearest to our hearts;
And we allow foolish things
to tear our lives apart.
Far too many times we let
unimportant things into our minds;
And then it's usually too late
to see what made us blind.
But got tp be sure to let people know
how much they mean to you;
And take that time to say the words
before the time is through.
Little things in life
they do mean a lot.
what we have until it is gone;
Too often, we play, we say
"I'm sorry - I was wrong."
Sometimes it seems we hurt the ones
we hold dearest to our hearts;
And we allow foolish things
to tear our lives apart.
Far too many times we let
unimportant things into our minds;
And then it's usually too late
to see what made us blind.
But got tp be sure to let people know
how much they mean to you;
And take that time to say the words
before the time is through.
Little things in life
they do mean a lot.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Disappointment Never
Tiny things we do in life take us a long way.
Likewise small mistakes we make can make us pay.
A minuscule amount of force, with a proper leverage can shake a whole mountain.
An ant can bring down an elephant.
Words are worse than arrows.
Proper choice creates unimaginable bonds.
Bad ones cause irreparable wounds.
Words are worse than arrows.
It is different how each person reacts to situations and eventually deal with them. Growing to be 21 years now, I have committed many mistakes and lucky me, my well wishers have always been kind enough to punish me for my wrong doings. As stupid a kid I was, I must have been through, if not all for forms of learning the harder way, but atleast most of them. But there are very few forms of those punishments I remember, even lesser I remember is the reason I was punished. However, there is this one incident I recall very distinctly for it was the nature of the punishment I was subjected to.
I was in 8th standard. I was to do science project with a friend of mine. I had told my mother that I would head to his place directly after school and carry out the required work. But as things turned out, I found more enterprising and entertaining options that day. Another bunch of friends decided to play cricket in the school grounds and casually invited me to join.
I thought for a second. I had permission to stay out in the afternoon, I said to myself. So yeah, I can play for a bit and then eventually go to whereever I was destined to go.
As you see, games are too absorbing, no sense of time I had, played away to glory. Before I realized, the sun was setting and the boys called it quits. I was only then that it came thundering down on me the magnitude of the time I had spent in the outdoors. I immediately called up this project partner, couldn't reach him of the phone, so informed his mother that I wont be coming that day.
Incidentally during this while, it had so happened that this boy had called up my place quite a few times in the afternoon trying to find out where I was. My mom was shocked, called up loads of friends until one of them told that there was this plan going n school about some match after classes. My mom immediately came down in an auto to the grounds, saw me there, felt reassured at heart that I was alive and safe but ,,,.
I came back home a while later in a jolly mood as if my science project was going to be the next Chandrayaan. My pant was dirty and may be torn a bit also I guess, don't remember exactly. Then my mom asks, how the project work went. Confidently I reply, "Great! but I could not complete, so will have to meet up again".
My mom didn't say a thing. I had believed that I had pulled it off perfectly and nobody needed to know about my little adventure. I never felt a little guilt or fear that I am doing wrong. I even thought I will tell this incident to mum some other happy evening and just get away laughing about it.
My mom remained silent.
I wash myself up, change and hungry that I was, ask mom for food. She puts the plate down, looks into my eyes and said two words which I will never forget.
The tone.
The surrounding.
Her face.
Her voice.
Her eyes.
"I'm disappointed", was what she precisely said.
Her eyes were swollen like a bucket filled to the brim and still being filled.
Her voice was hollow.
The surroundings fell silent, quiet. Everything went pitch dark.
Her tone was gentle, may be too gentle or broken down.
My world had come crashing down upon me. There was no need for her to even say the limited words she said. I knew I had let her down. There was nothing I could do. I did not have the courage to go up to her and say I was sorry. I sat in the corner of the room crying, or atleast trying to cry. A girl I was. It was all I knew.
All were tears go soaked up. Even they refused to wash away what I had done. I tried to beat myself up. It felt like sitting right down at the abyss and bearing the weight of the whole world upon me. I was just hoping there was a way I could what I had done.
I so wanted to go back in time just about 10 minutes back and tell her all what had happened. I wanted to remove this memory for her sake from her mind forever. Now, I just hope there could have been those heroes - Hiro Nakamura or Hessian.
I tried to talk, say things, try and try to make things normal. As a matter of fact, nothing could. Once done cannot be undone. No salvage too possible. There it was. There was nothing I could say or do to get the situation any better. Acting on impulse, I had done myself in. I didn't mean to play cricket or mean to lie to my mother after playing.
As for my mom, she was not angry at me. She was not feeling sad for what I done. She was simply hurt. She couldn't say it. It was something she had not imagined even in the wildest of her dreams despite knowing how wild her son was. She was broken. There was the loss of trust- the broken bond, unmendable may be. She was also aware that I did not mean to lie to her and that I just felt that there was no need for her to know about it, atleast then. She acted as if she could not care less. But I do know, she did not get her nights sleep. There are weird way of expressing love. Some kill others for love. Strange we people are. Others kill themselves for it. It was truly at that point that I was far more disappointed in myself that anyone else in me.
A wave of disappointment washes over me
Drowning and overwhelming like the sea
Hits me hard like an unseen wave
Unexpectedness pulled me to this cave
From that day on till this, I had managed not to hear her or anyone say that about me.
It was by far the simplest of the punishments that I had got but by far the harshest. This was not the first time I had lied but it was definitely my last. Earlier, in my younger days, I had lied about stealing a rupee for a bike sticker or a tattoo. I had even torn up my quiz answer paper because I had got less marks and told home that the paper was not distributed. In all these, I was eventually caught. I was punished. But I did repeat similar things again. I have committed blunders, that I have.
And, I think I still am in punishment.
The point here is not about lying or for that matter, my sad life story. There are instances where I have done things and could easily get away with it, without anybody knowing about it. Certain things out of free will not thinking about how it affects the dear ones around me. I am an idiot and there is no second to it. But if there is something, i have done, a mistake probably, i deserve punishment. I am gladly willing to accept it. I can live with lot of things and without a lot others. But I can't live with the guilt of a being a betrayer. For I am not. Not one bit consciously or being aware, have I done or will do things which can turn me that way. I am random. I am arbit. I am drifter also. I tend to get carried away.Yes! But amidst all this I am still the same myself.
A torn cloth can't be possibly mended, I know. But if there is still even a single strand of linen, then ......
The first rays of sunlight fall on my bed now. I sit and stare, waiting for the sun.
Likewise small mistakes we make can make us pay.
A minuscule amount of force, with a proper leverage can shake a whole mountain.
An ant can bring down an elephant.
Words are worse than arrows.
Proper choice creates unimaginable bonds.
Bad ones cause irreparable wounds.
Words are worse than arrows.
It is different how each person reacts to situations and eventually deal with them. Growing to be 21 years now, I have committed many mistakes and lucky me, my well wishers have always been kind enough to punish me for my wrong doings. As stupid a kid I was, I must have been through, if not all for forms of learning the harder way, but atleast most of them. But there are very few forms of those punishments I remember, even lesser I remember is the reason I was punished. However, there is this one incident I recall very distinctly for it was the nature of the punishment I was subjected to.
I was in 8th standard. I was to do science project with a friend of mine. I had told my mother that I would head to his place directly after school and carry out the required work. But as things turned out, I found more enterprising and entertaining options that day. Another bunch of friends decided to play cricket in the school grounds and casually invited me to join.
I thought for a second. I had permission to stay out in the afternoon, I said to myself. So yeah, I can play for a bit and then eventually go to whereever I was destined to go.
As you see, games are too absorbing, no sense of time I had, played away to glory. Before I realized, the sun was setting and the boys called it quits. I was only then that it came thundering down on me the magnitude of the time I had spent in the outdoors. I immediately called up this project partner, couldn't reach him of the phone, so informed his mother that I wont be coming that day.
Incidentally during this while, it had so happened that this boy had called up my place quite a few times in the afternoon trying to find out where I was. My mom was shocked, called up loads of friends until one of them told that there was this plan going n school about some match after classes. My mom immediately came down in an auto to the grounds, saw me there, felt reassured at heart that I was alive and safe but ,,,.
I came back home a while later in a jolly mood as if my science project was going to be the next Chandrayaan. My pant was dirty and may be torn a bit also I guess, don't remember exactly. Then my mom asks, how the project work went. Confidently I reply, "Great! but I could not complete, so will have to meet up again".
My mom didn't say a thing. I had believed that I had pulled it off perfectly and nobody needed to know about my little adventure. I never felt a little guilt or fear that I am doing wrong. I even thought I will tell this incident to mum some other happy evening and just get away laughing about it.
My mom remained silent.
I wash myself up, change and hungry that I was, ask mom for food. She puts the plate down, looks into my eyes and said two words which I will never forget.
The tone.
The surrounding.
Her face.
Her voice.
Her eyes.
"I'm disappointed", was what she precisely said.
Her eyes were swollen like a bucket filled to the brim and still being filled.
Her voice was hollow.
The surroundings fell silent, quiet. Everything went pitch dark.
Her tone was gentle, may be too gentle or broken down.
My world had come crashing down upon me. There was no need for her to even say the limited words she said. I knew I had let her down. There was nothing I could do. I did not have the courage to go up to her and say I was sorry. I sat in the corner of the room crying, or atleast trying to cry. A girl I was. It was all I knew.
All were tears go soaked up. Even they refused to wash away what I had done. I tried to beat myself up. It felt like sitting right down at the abyss and bearing the weight of the whole world upon me. I was just hoping there was a way I could what I had done.
I so wanted to go back in time just about 10 minutes back and tell her all what had happened. I wanted to remove this memory for her sake from her mind forever. Now, I just hope there could have been those heroes - Hiro Nakamura or Hessian.
I tried to talk, say things, try and try to make things normal. As a matter of fact, nothing could. Once done cannot be undone. No salvage too possible. There it was. There was nothing I could say or do to get the situation any better. Acting on impulse, I had done myself in. I didn't mean to play cricket or mean to lie to my mother after playing.
As for my mom, she was not angry at me. She was not feeling sad for what I done. She was simply hurt. She couldn't say it. It was something she had not imagined even in the wildest of her dreams despite knowing how wild her son was. She was broken. There was the loss of trust- the broken bond, unmendable may be. She was also aware that I did not mean to lie to her and that I just felt that there was no need for her to know about it, atleast then. She acted as if she could not care less. But I do know, she did not get her nights sleep. There are weird way of expressing love. Some kill others for love. Strange we people are. Others kill themselves for it. It was truly at that point that I was far more disappointed in myself that anyone else in me.
A wave of disappointment washes over me
Drowning and overwhelming like the sea
Hits me hard like an unseen wave
Unexpectedness pulled me to this cave
From that day on till this, I had managed not to hear her or anyone say that about me.
It was by far the simplest of the punishments that I had got but by far the harshest. This was not the first time I had lied but it was definitely my last. Earlier, in my younger days, I had lied about stealing a rupee for a bike sticker or a tattoo. I had even torn up my quiz answer paper because I had got less marks and told home that the paper was not distributed. In all these, I was eventually caught. I was punished. But I did repeat similar things again. I have committed blunders, that I have.
And, I think I still am in punishment.
The point here is not about lying or for that matter, my sad life story. There are instances where I have done things and could easily get away with it, without anybody knowing about it. Certain things out of free will not thinking about how it affects the dear ones around me. I am an idiot and there is no second to it. But if there is something, i have done, a mistake probably, i deserve punishment. I am gladly willing to accept it. I can live with lot of things and without a lot others. But I can't live with the guilt of a being a betrayer. For I am not. Not one bit consciously or being aware, have I done or will do things which can turn me that way. I am random. I am arbit. I am drifter also. I tend to get carried away.Yes! But amidst all this I am still the same myself.
A torn cloth can't be possibly mended, I know. But if there is still even a single strand of linen, then ......
The first rays of sunlight fall on my bed now. I sit and stare, waiting for the sun.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Cooking lesson One: Wholesome breakfast!!
Chink's Tomato-based super-smootH red soUP-o-KhEer
Tomato paste with salt and water makes a very tasty breakfast (atleast much tastier than the 'mulee' or 'aloo' parathas we can possibly eat at mess over the weekends). Just to make things even better, the following can be added as per one's taste
Acidity Regulator -260
Stabilizers - 1442, 415
One Teaspoon of Onion Power
One Teaspoon of Garlic Power
(any other spices you like)
About 20g of this delicious preservative laden Tomato puree will ideally serve one person.
Cooking the above is not a child's game. With lot of practice, the technique can be mastered. As you have already noticed, the cooking procedure is not discussed here, as the secret art can is to be passed on by word of mouth to the worthy. So till then, Good Luck working out and Happy Cooking!
P.S: 2/23 of my reserve packets are over now :'(
P.P.S: KFC generous!!
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Classics
1. A classic houR today. Well, after all, I tiny little bump and elephants do help. [:D] [:P]
2. Casablanca is another classic, must watch sometime!! [:)]
2. Casablanca is another classic, must watch sometime!! [:)]
An Elephant ODe
Ah!! Yes! Me and OD are watching random videos on his computer. This video is live footage from a safari trip in some forest. As seen from the camera, a big tiger is sneaking up on an elephant. The mahout of the elephant realizes and brandishes his cane, waving frantically in a hope to scare the tiger away. The tiger untouched, makes a jump right over the elephant's head and grabs on to the mahout. The footage ends there. We were shocked watching that and probably a little amused as well (really don't know why) but yeah.
A while later, I am standing on top of my house. It is not a very high building, a simple one-storey place. I think I am just staring at the stars, sometimes looking down on the ground, but in effect doing nothing, but happy for some reason. A bit later, I see people running wildly on the streets, running in all directions, total chaos. I couldn't understand why. What I saw then, took me aback. There is a whole army of elephants chasing down the humans on the roads. I fell back, had no strength to get back on my feet, could only muster so much to drag myself back to the corner.
I felt a sense of comfort and relief that I was not left on the road. I was one level up which was as high the elephant itself. More Joy!! My building has no stairs to get to the terrace, you have to do a monkey to get up there and I was pretty sure that an elephant could not do such a thing and I was safe. I must tell you reader, I felt totally reassured at this point that no harm could come to me. Just as these thoughts raced past me mind, one rampant pachyderm decided to come my way. I was expecting it to run straight into the house. I was about to laugh at what stupid a creature it could be. The animal would bump his head generally (like shown in Ambuja cement ads :P) and fall down, and I was half expecting to to start crying "Mummy!! Mummy!!".
Believe it or not, my calculations were spot on, were absolutely perfect till the idiotic creature started crying. It is at this point that I faltered for I had failed to think beyond. I was too happy with myself (a sense of pride too) giggling at that innocent thing. Before, I could fatho
m my real senses, I saw something which made me not believe in my eyes ever anymore. The mother elephant (most probably I think) was soaring in the air, a giant leap perfectly poised to make a crash landing on me. Stunned, I could not move any further. I don't know either what befell my senses. All I could was jump down my high safe point over the edge to my right.Next thing, my head was hurting, a little bump on the back, and me rolling on the floor. A pigeon was sitting on the window sill laughing at me.
Morals of the story:
1. Don't find videos amusing.
2. Don't make fun of small kids.
3. Ambuja cement is strong but still useless.
4. When someone is crying in front of you, don't show sympathy and don't laugh, RUN for your life!
5. Elephants don't have wings, but they can still fly.
6. Always sleep with a tight blanket around yourself, a helmet would most certainly help.
7. Pigeons love to shit on men.
(There is a video thats been circulating in the LAN about a very majestic tiger leap. I just happened to watch it a few days back with OD one random late evening. The rest as you read is a recollection of the following morning.)
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
A lone star - Unbroken.
Its vibrance in the air,
No time to stare;
Meaning to be fair,
This is but a dare.
Despite this all,
There is no light;
Clouds ride in the sky,
Stars hide in fright;
I am angry,
I wanna fight;
Well whatever it is,
I just write.
Stupid things, must I crib
Silly things, out I flip
Grown up I want to be
That happening I dont see.
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